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I Want To Be An Illegal Alien

 
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Medron Pryde
Betatester
Betatester


Joined: 26 May 2003
Posts: 4547
Location: Rochester, Minnesnowta

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 12:56 am    Post subject: I Want To Be An Illegal Alien Reply with quote

Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Pete McGlaughlin

Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.
Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!
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Medron Pryde - A Proud Browncoat
P.R.I. - The home of BattleTech Programs and files.

"Our thoughts form the universe. They are always important." R.I.P.
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Jimmy the Tulip
Administrator & Lead Betatester
Administrator & Lead Betatester


Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 3793
Location: Auckland, NZ

PostPosted: Tue Oct 17, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL! I wonder how he got on?
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Overkill
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Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 382
Location: Visalia, Ca.

PostPosted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually we all are illegal aliens unless your native indian, they did not give us permission to take up residents here.....we more or less forced ourselves in so automatically we have that cool offer like the rest of the illegals.
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Artillery is the god of war." - Stalin
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"Artillerymen believe the world consist of two types of people; other Artillerymen and targets." - Unknown
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Medron Pryde
Betatester
Betatester


Joined: 26 May 2003
Posts: 4547
Location: Rochester, Minnesnowta

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 7:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, we made purchases and treaties with the locals so they let us in nicely.

*mumbling*

Ok ok...yeah...we DID sorta play fast and loose with some of the treaties...but the fact still stands.
_________________
Medron Pryde - A Proud Browncoat
P.R.I. - The home of BattleTech Programs and files.

"Our thoughts form the universe. They are always important." R.I.P.
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Overkill
Lieutenant
Lieutenant


Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Posts: 382
Location: Visalia, Ca.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol..... So we are partially illegal. LMAO!!
_________________
Artillery is the god of war." - Stalin
---------
"Artillerymen believe the world consist of two types of people; other Artillerymen and targets." - Unknown
------------

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